Eight Months of Becoming
Pauline Gray
7/29/20266 min read
Have you ever looked back on a season of your life and thought, “Wow… so much can change in such a short amount of time?”
That’s exactly how I feel as I sit here writing this.
Eight months.
It doesn’t sound like a long time, yet when I look back at the woman who wrote my very first blog, I realise she isn’t the same woman writing these words today.
She still has the same heart, the same love for her family, and the same dreams—but today she carries more confidence, more peace, more purpose, and a much deeper belief in herself.
Life hasn’t suddenly become perfect. It never will.
There have still been difficult days. Days where I’ve questioned myself, wondered if I was doing enough, or whether I was on the right path. The difference now is that I no longer allow those moments to define me.
I’ve learnt that healing doesn’t mean you never struggle again.
Healing means you learn how to move through those moments with grace, knowing they don’t determine your future.
When I wrote my very first blog, I simply wanted a place where I could be myself. Somewhere I could share my heart, my healing, my family, my lessons, and hopefully remind someone else that they weren’t alone.
I never imagined how much that decision would change me.
I’ve realised that growth doesn’t usually happen in the big moments.
It happens quietly.
It’s found in the mornings when you choose to get out of bed even though you’re tired.
It’s found in choosing peace over proving a point.
It’s found in forgiving yourself for who you used to be.
It’s found in believing you’re worthy before your circumstances begin to change.
For so many years I thought I needed to have everything figured out before taking the next step.
Now I know that’s not true.
Sometimes all you need is enough courage to begin.
One of the biggest blessings over these last eight months has been continuing to write.
As many of you know, I’m writing my second book, and this journey has been so different from writing my first.
My first book was an emotional ride.
It was where I finally found the courage to tell my story.
It held my pain, my grief, my childhood, my healing, my struggles, and everything that shaped me into the woman I am today.
Writing that book became part of my healing.
It helped me release things I’d carried for years.
It reminded me that our past may explain us, but it never has to define us.
This second book feels completely different.
It feels lighter.
It feels hopeful.
It feels like the beginning of a new chapter.
This book isn’t about surviving anymore.
It’s about living.
It’s about healing, growth, self-worth, motherhood, marriage, purpose, faith, and learning to truly love the woman looking back at me in the mirror.
It’s about understanding that every difficult season had a purpose.
Every setback taught me something.
Every challenge made me stronger.
Every chapter brought me closer to the woman I was always becoming.
One of the greatest lessons these last eight months has taught me is that opportunities don’t always arrive looking the way we expect them to.
Sometimes they arrive disguised as fear.
Sometimes they ask us to step outside our comfort zone.
Sometimes they ask us to trust before we can see the outcome.
One of those opportunities for me was saying yes to MONAT.
If I’m honest, I had no idea where that one decision would lead me.
I simply knew I wanted to stay open to opportunities that aligned with the life Charlie and I were trying to build for our family.
Looking back now, I’m incredibly grateful I said yes.
MONAT has become so much more than haircare.
It became another chapter in my personal growth.
It challenged me to believe in myself.
It gave me confidence I didn’t even realise I was missing.
It introduced me to women who genuinely celebrate one another instead of competing against each other.
Women who encourage, support, inspire and remind one another that there is room for all of us to succeed.
It has also given our family another stream of income and more freedom.
Not because money defines success, but because freedom means more time together.
More memories.
More opportunities.
More choices.
More presence.
To me, that’s priceless.
Looking back now, I realise the greatest gift wasn’t simply saying yes to an opportunity.
It was becoming the woman that opportunity asked me to become.
Charlie and I have spent years building the life we have today.
It hasn’t always been easy.
We’ve experienced struggles, setbacks and seasons where we questioned whether everything would ever fall into place.
But we kept showing up.
We kept believing.
We kept choosing each other.
Looking back now, I wouldn’t change those difficult seasons.
They taught us resilience.
They taught us gratitude.
They taught us to appreciate every blessing because we know what it’s like to go without.
One of the most meaningful moments of these last eight months was taking our babies home to Aotearoa.
Watching them stand on the whenua where our tīpuna once stood is something I’ll treasure forever.
It wasn’t just a holiday.
It was healing.
It was connection.
It was remembering exactly where we come from.
As Māori, our whakapapa is part of who we are.
Our tīpuna walked before us so that we could walk the paths we’re on today.
Standing there reminded me that no matter how far life takes us, our roots remain part of us.
That journey filled my heart in ways I still struggle to explain.
It reminded me that success isn’t measured only by what we own or what we achieve.
Sometimes success is giving your children the opportunity to know who they are, where they come from, and to walk the same whenua their tīpuna once walked.
As I reflect on these last eight months, I realise the biggest changes haven’t happened around me.
They’ve happened within me.
I’ve become more intentional.
I’ve become more patient.
I’ve learnt to protect my peace.
I’ve stopped comparing my journey to everyone else’s.
I’ve learnt that growth isn’t about becoming someone different.
It’s about becoming more of who you were always created to be.
I’ve learnt to slow down.
To appreciate the ordinary moments.
To laugh louder with my children.
To hold Charlie’s hand a little tighter.
To be grateful for mornings I once prayed for.
Life moves so quickly.
Children grow.
Dreams evolve.
Seasons change.
Before we know it, the moments we thought would last forever become beautiful memories.
If these last eight months have taught me anything, it’s to be present.
To trust God’s timing.
To believe in myself.
To keep choosing healing.
To remain open to opportunities.
Because sometimes one brave “yes” has the power to completely change the direction of your life.
If you’re reading this while standing at the beginning of your own journey, wondering whether life can really change, I hope my story reminds you that it can.
Not overnight.
Not without challenges.
Not without moments of doubt.
But it can.
One decision at a time.
One opportunity at a time.
One brave step at a time.
Eight months ago, I wrote my very first blog with hope in my heart.
Today, I write this one with gratitude.
Gratitude for every lesson.
Every challenge.
Every opportunity.
Every reader.
Every customer.
Every person who’s trusted me.
Every message of encouragement.
Every conversation that reminded me why I started.
Thank you for walking this journey with me.
Whether you’ve followed my blogs from the beginning, read my first book, are excited for my second, supported my MONAT business, or simply cheered me on from afar, thank you.
Your support means more than you’ll ever know.
Before I finish, I want to leave you with one final thought.
If you’ve been reading this and something in your heart has been whispering that it’s time for a change… listen to it.
Sometimes the opportunities that change our lives begin with one simple “yes.”
For me, saying yes to MONAT became so much more than a business. It became an opportunity to grow, build my confidence, create another stream of income for our family, and work towards a life with more freedom and flexibility.
If you’re looking for something that fits around your family, gives you the opportunity to earn an extra income, work towards more freedom, enjoy those extra sleep-ins, and build something that genuinely doesn’t feel like work because you love what you do, I’d love to chat with you.
You don’t need experience.
You don’t need to have everything figured out.
You just need to be willing to take that first step.
If this speaks to you, I’d love to welcome you into our team and walk alongside you on your own journey.
Feel free to email me anytime at paulinegrayyy@gmail.com.
You never know… one conversation could be the beginning of your next chapter.
As I close this chapter, I don’t feel like I’m reaching an ending.
I feel like I’m standing at the beginning of something even more beautiful.
Because if these last eight months have taught me anything, it’s this:
Healing doesn’t end.
Dreams don’t have an expiry date.
Growth never stops.
And sometimes the most beautiful chapters begin the moment you find the courage to simply say yes.
With love,
Pauline Muriwai-Gray
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